Sri Chinmoy Inspiration

DO NOT REGRET

Regret is nothing but a waste;
Therefore, do not regret.
See the light, feel the light, become the light
Of today’s dawn
And try not, cry not
To see yesterday’s stars, moon and sun.
They are gone.
They should be buried in oblivion-night.

- Sri Chinmoy

It is easy to be burdened with regrets. The mind will offer us innumerable - if only I had…

Yet, regret doesn’t help in any way.

“Non, je ne regrette rien” - The famous refrain of Edith Piaf is also a powerful motto for life. These are some practical tips to live a life without regrets.

1. Live in the Present

If we live completely in the present moment, how can we be regretting the past? It is in the present moment that we can truly live and enjoy life. The problem is that it is easy to say we should live in the present but, to actually do it is not so easy. Living in the present requires constant remembrance. The nature of the mind is to think of the past and speculate on the future. We need to retrain the mind; when we start regretting the past, just gently remind yourself to go back to the present moment.

2. Do What You Can

This simple but effective idea is to do what we can, given our current situation. Regretting the past will not help improve our current situation; in fact it can make it worse. We have to be wise and make the best choices and actions given our present state. We cannot change the past, no matter how bitterly we wish we can. But, if we focus 100% on doing what we can then we may be frequently surprised at how much we can alleviate our current situation.

3. Don’t Live With A Guilty Conscience

Guilt can be a weight around our neck, which does nothing to help us. The great spiritual master, Sri Ramakrishna said something most significant. He said “the person who goes around saying ‘I am a sinner, I am a sinner’ - this person will remain a sinner.” But, why maintain this attitude? Rather than focusing on our past ’sins’ we have to feel that this is not our real self. If we have the capacity to ’sin’ we also have the capacity to do the right thing and lead a good life. It is focusing on good things that will make us a better person. Focusing on our past mistakes will just lower our consciousness not make us feel any better. See also: Overcoming persistent guilt

4. Be At Peace With Yourself.

Often our regrets result from the disappointment of others. Maybe we have made our choices but, despite our honest effort, they are displeased with us. Therefore, we are regretting not that we did the wrong thing, but, that we failed to meet other people’s expectations.
We will never be able to please the expectations of others. Therefore, we have to just follow our inner intuition and live the life that we think is best for us. If others don’t agree with our choices, then we have to be detached.

5. Don’t Regret Mistakes.

“The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

To make progress, mistakes, failure and even humiliation are inevitable. The problem is we only value success. But, this is wrong. Failure is the flip side of success. You cannot have one without the other. Great scientists say how success often comes after 99 failures. It is a good job Einstein didn’t give up with regrets before his eventual success.

See also:

• 10 Ways to Simplify Your Life

Photo by Ahuta, Sri Chinmoy Centre galleries.

The capacity for forgiveness is certainly one of the most noble traits we posess as human beings. Despite it commonly being lauded as such throughout the ages, there is however comparatively little examination of the effect an attitude of forgiveness can have on your daily life, both inner and outer.

Forgiveness is practical

Forgiveness is often framed as a moral quality, when it first and foremost a practical one. When we are unable to forgive someone who has wronged us, that person retains a kind of power into us, forcing their way into our thoughts. “If we spend our time cherishing negative thoughts about someone—jealousy, doubt or anger—then we are making that person our Guru“, aptly notes meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy. It is only through forgiveness that we can stop the effects of that action from staying with us long after the original hurt was caused.

Forgiveness allows us stop dwelling on the person who caused the wrong and to get on with our lives. Forgiveness is often not easy - and this article is certainly not intended to slight those who have had serious wrongs done to them and find themselves unable to forgive the wrongdoer. It is, however interesting to read the stories of those who have made that difficult journey to forgiveness - many of them describe facing a stark choice; either they could be consumed by anger and rage, or try to go beyond it and rebuild their lives.

For most of us, our forgiveness issues will center on less serious events - someone said something mean about us, or betrayed our trust in some way. In these cases, it helps to remember the times when you have also made the same mistakes - this helps us to feel and understand why they might have done what they did. You might still make a practical decision not to trust them again, but at least that decision can be taken in equanimity and devoid of anger and negativity.

Forgiving ourselves

Often we are our own worst critic, berating ourselves for every little mistake we make in the journey of life. This is often because we are comparing ourselves to some unreasonable standard of perfection instead of accepting who we are. Forgiving ourselves is part of accepting ourselves and knowing ourselves, and treating our failures as stepping stones that ultimately lead to our success and growth.

Interestingly enough, the more we can forgive ourselves for our own failing, the more likely we are to accept others for what they are also. Similarly, when you see someone always in the habit of criticizing others, you can be sure that they are just as hard on themselves too!!!

Inner forgiveness

The concept of forgiveness can be very usefully deployed in your inner life, in your practice of prayer or meditation. In meditation, we connect ourselves to a deeper and vaster sense of reality, a reality which certainly does not share the values of judgment and criticism we see in the outer world. In this reality only one thing is important, and that is our progress to becoming a better, kinder and more loving human being.

One nice thing to add to your meditation practice (especially at the end of the day) is to invoke inner forgiveness. This does not mean telling yourself what a bad person you are. Instead, it means aspiring to grow beyond the vicious circle of habit that causes us to do things and then regret them later.

The more I meditate, the more I see that real outer changes only happen in my life when they are prefaced by a firm inner commitment. This practice cultivates that commitment to rise above repeating the same mistakes. A time will come when through this aspiration we finally gain the inner illumination and wisdom to detach ourself from whatever it is that causes us to make mistakes, and we gain a profound sense of satisfaction that we are indeed progressing in life’s journey.

Image: Sharani Robins, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

lion

Recently I have been helping to prepare some of my students for university interviews. One thing stood out - the importance of confidence. It seems many young people lack a measured confidence in their own abilities and this is one of the biggest things holding them back.

What is Confidence?

Confidence is belief in your self. It means you think of your strong attributes and not your weaknesses - real or imaginary. Confidence is not an arrogant self exertion. It is not the confidence of a Julius Ceasar - “I came, I saw, I conquered” It is a confidence which allows your real self to come forward. Confidence is compatible with modesty and humility. If we really have self confidence we will not feel obliged to try and convince others. When people exert their ego and tell us of their own achievement and greatness, it is often because they actually lack self-confidence. Therefore, they are fishing for complements to boost their fragile ego and self-confidence.

How Can we Build up Our Confidence?

Practise

Some students are so lacking in confidence they want to avoid even the mock interviews. This is the worst thing to do. If we spend our time worrying about potential outcomes our confidence evaporates as we imagine unpleasant scenarios. There is a lot to be said for remaining active and practising what we lack confidence in. When we actually do something, we realise that many of our fears are ungrounded and therefore we can effectively build up our confidence. If we never practise, we will always struggle with confidence. If we lack confidence in speaking with people the best thing is to try and find situations where we can get plenty of practise.

• In short to build up confidence - Less thinking more doing!

Learning To Deal With Criticism

On various occasions we will be criticised. But, this should not be the end of our world. The criticism does not apply to our self, but a certain action or aspect of our being. In this sense we should look upon the criticism as just an opportunity to improve and learn. If the criticism has an unpleasant tone, we should pay no attention to that. It is important to keep a balanced attitude, don’t just focus on the criticism of others, remember also the encouragement of others.

Don’t Compare

It is funny how many potential interviewees imagine that everyone else must be the perfect candidate who is able to seamlessly switch between explaining the economics of the credit crunch to discussing the implications of Kantian ethics on issues of euthanasia. The point is by comparing ourselves to others, we are liable to lose our self confidence because it is easy to generate feelings of inadequacy.

Don’t Judge Others

The way to self-confidence is not by denegrating other people. People who spend a lot of time criticising others, often lack self-confidence and they subconsiously try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. We should not look upon others as competitors, but, just focus on our own life. Having good will to others will help. Those who judge harshly others, usually end up judging themselves, and it is this relentless self criticism that can knock our confidence.

Don’t Set Unreasonably high Expectations

Another reason for lack of confidence is people set themselves goals of near perfection. Because they struggle to reach this lofty goals they think of how they have fallen short and missed the target. Rather than measuring how much we have fallen short of perfection, we should concentrate on the progress we have made. One example, is when asking a question, students will sometimes say nothing because they are struggling to find the ‘right’ / ‘perfect’ answer. Therefore, rather than get something wrong, they will say nothing. Unfortunately, this is wrong. The interviewers often ask ‘difficult’ question where there is no obvious right answer. They are looking for students who have the confidence to explore ideas and perhaps get half way there.

See also:

• Tips to deal with lack of self confidence

Bonus Extra

These are the kind of questions, I am asking in mock interviews. Would You Have the confidence to answer these questions?

• If the penalty for parking on double yellow lines was capital punishment, no one would do it, therefore it is a good law. Discuss
• Which French Person do you admire most?
• What is your worst quality?
• Is it Vanity to think we can change the world?
• What is the difference between courage and recklessness?

Why?

Why do we try to try blame others for weaknesses in our own nature?

Why do we make ourselves unhappy by cherishing negative thoughts?

Why do we always want to have the last word?

Why do we place so much emphasis on the misinformed criticisms of others?

Why do we struggle to find time to spend even 10 minutes a day on the cultivation of our own inner peace.

Why do we give so much importance to the fleeting prospects of name and fame?

Why do we struggle to see the beautiful and simple in every day life?

Why are we instinctively drawn to the faults of others and remain blind to their good qualities?

Why do we continue to pursue habits we know are bad for us?

Why do we so often live in the past, reliving old problems?

Why do we get malicious pleasure from speaking ill of other people?

Why do we  feel responsible for the progress of the world?

Why do we doubt our own capacities?

Why do we give so much importance to the accumulation of material wealth?

Why?

At Sri Chinmoy Inspiration, we occasionally do posts highlighting the timeless wisdom that has come from all the various world cultures - see for examples Tejvan’s Wisdom from the Zen Haiku Masters. My meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy, came from an Indian background and he would often write short retellings of traditional Indian tales. I happen to have been reading a lot of traditional Indian stories recently - many of them come from the two great epics Ramayana and Mahabharata, India’s answer to the Iliad and the Odyssey.

These epics play an important role in the Hindu tradition, but there are a lot of truths in them which are timeless in nature, and I just thought I’d select four or five of them for today’s post.

Focus only on the important things.

This is a very nice story from the Mahabharata:

Drona was a great teacher of the warrior arts, and one day he held a test to find his best archery student. He put a wooden bird on a branch of a distant tree, partly hidden by the foliage, and painted an artificial eye on the wooden bird. The teacher called all his disciples and said, “You have to hit the arrow exactly in its eye. Are you ready?”

Everyone nodded. First the eldest Yudhisthira was invited to try his skill. He stretched his bow-string and was about to release the arrow. Drona asked, “What is visible to you at this point of time?” Yudhisthira replied, “You, the tree, people around me, and the bird.”

“Step aside”, said Drona.

Similar questions were put to his other students and Drona got the similar answers as those given by Yudhisthira. Lastly, it was the turn of Arjuna, who readied himself to shoot. Drona asked him, “What is being observed by you?”

And Arjuna replied, “Sir, at this point of time only the eye of the bird is visible to me.”

“Anything else?”, Drona asked

“No, only the bird”, replied Arjuna.

Drona smiled and said “You may shoot.” Arjuna shot and hit the bird perfectly in the eye.

This story has a particular resonance for me, because one of my weaknesses is letting myself get sidetracked from the things that really matter. However I have found over the years that by cutting out the superflous things in my life and focusing on the things that really matter, then I can make enormous strides towards fulfilling my dreams.

All paths lead to the same goal

One of the people most responsible for bringing Eastern mystical thought to the West was Swami Vivekananda. In 1893 he travelled to Chicago to the World Parliament of Religions and gave a speech that captivated all present, in which he appealed for an end to religious fanaticism and spoke about the need for oneness between all paths : “We believe not only in universal toleration, but we accept all religions as true…The present convention, which is one of the most august assemblies ever held, is in itself a vindication, a declaration to the world of the wonderful doctrine preached in the Gita: “Whosoever comes to Me, through whatsoever form, I reach him; all men are struggling through paths which in the end lead to me.” ” The Gita is a section of the Mahabharata which many Indians would regard as their Bible. This feeling, that all of humanity is merely taking different roads up the same mountain of self-discovery, is a cornerstone of Indian thought. (By the way, the full speech can be read here…)

It’s all about perspective

One of my favourite Indian stories is a very simple one, related by the 19th century Indian master Sri Ramakrishna:

Shiva sits in silent meditation on a snowy Himalayan mountain top. Suddenly there is a great sound. Nandi, Shiva’s bull, gets alarmed and asks, ‘Where is the sound coming from?’

Shiva says, ‘Ravana is born.’

After a while there is another frightening sound. Nandi asks, ‘Now, what is this sound?’

Shiva laughs and says, ‘Ravana has now been slain.’

Ravana was the chief antagonist of the Ramayana, whose actions and ultimate demise takes up a huge portion of the Ramayana epic. And yet from the perspective of endless time, Shiva perceived his life and death as merely another ebb and flow in the vast ocean of time. We often blow events out of proportion - for example all our thinking is devoted to how to pay that bill, or how someone has hurt our feelings. However, when we can lift our mind out of these troughts, we gain a higher perspective and see these are all transient events that should not affect our inner calm.

Listen to your heart

One of the great lessons of the Mahabharata, is to trust your heart, and learn to act on your inner feelings of right and wrong. In the Mahabharata, a great conflict arises because many of the noble and well meaning characters hide behind the moral code of the time, instead of doing what they inwardly know is right. For example, one of the main characters, Bishma, takes a mighty oath at the beginning of the Mahabharata to protect the throne of his kingdom. The morality of the time stated that a warrior like Bishma could never go back on his oath - and so he stayed quiet whilst all manner of wrongdoing was perpetuated by the kingdom he swore to protect, and suffered greatly at the hands of his conscience for doing so. When you listen to your heart, you are essentially tapping into a source of great goodness inside yourself, and are intuitively able to take decisions with everyone’s best interests at heart.

Photo: Unmesh Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

The counting shed is on the right, at a 24 hour race organised by Sri Chinmoy M.T.

Happiness can be a strange thing. The things we expect will give us happiness sometimes fail to live up to our expectations. Yet, when we stop chasing happiness, we can find happiness in the most unlikely of situations.

Counting at a 24 Hour Race

For 24 Hours, Runners run around a standard 400 m athletic track. Every 2 minutes or so your runner will pass by and as a counter you note down their time. Now, the first thing people might say is why? Why run around a traffic and isn’t it boring to spend 24 hours counting a couple of runners go past every 2 minutes? The strange thing is that the first hour can pass quite slowly, and you start thinking this 12 hour shift is going to be a long time. But, after a while time starts to slip by. You enter a different world and become absorbed in the fortunes of your runners. You become inspired at the collective efforts at self transcendence. I also enjoy the gentle banter and jokes with the other counters in the counting shed.

(see also: Counting Shed by Sumangali)

Washing Dishes.

If you were thinking of moments of happiness, you wouldn’t expect ‘work’ to be there. The thing is I actually really enjoyed doing the dishes, even though I was working in a ‘Little Chef’. It was a very simple work where you could get into a routine. There was great satisfaction in transforming the dirty plates into clean neat piles. Dishwashing was my domain, I was responsible for keeping it clean.  The important thing was the attitude to washing. If I thought about the job I would think - there are many better things I could be doing with my time; I don’t want to be a dishwasher for the rest of my life. However, when I ignored these thoughts, when I just focused on the present moment and the action of washing dishes, time flew past. It became a meditative action because I was just focusing on the act of dishwashing and was concentrated on the job in hand. And I really enjoyed it.

Monty Python Silly Walks

Once a year, with friends from the English Sri Chinmoy Centres, we put on a very informal plays and skits. The idea is to have fun. My contribution is performing Monty Python sketches and in particular the John Cleese silly walk. I love watching Monty Python, but, when you perform it yourself, it offers a much greater level of enjoyment. In a TV age, we are so used to entertainment being passive, that we forget how much entertainment we can have by actually taking part in something. It is innocent fun, and having a good laugh is one of the best medicines for the mind. see: Monty Python Silly Walks at Youtube

Racing up Hills

I do enjoy racing my bike. Sometimes you get frustrated because you are not as fast as you would like. But, generally cycle racing is very good. I love the sense of achievement, the stretching of your own abilities and seeking to see how far you can push yourself. For some strange reason I really love hill climb races - basically races up a hill. Last week was the National Hill climb Championships in Matlock, a 2 minute climb up a hill of 20%. Half way up I felt dizzy in the head, all the blood had drained to my legs. It felt like I was dancing on the limits of my capacity. But, I felt really happy when I finished the race!

Singing

My earliest memories of singing was going to a school choir practice and singing very badly so they would have no chance of asking me to join. Actually, I had no need to try and sing badly, I could have just sang to the best of my abilities and I wouldn’t have been taken. So it was rather surprising that later in life, I would get so much from singing devotional songs composed by Sri Chinmoy and others. Singing can awaken a different part of our being. It can take us out of ourselves an in particular make us feel there is much more to life.

Question for the readers - Do you have any unexpected moments of happiness you would like to share?

Have there ever been times when you thought wow, i can’t believe I enjoyed that!

Related:

• Source Of Happiness
• Happiness and the Heart

Often the news of an impending economic recession is accompanied by an equally heavy mental recession - our minds shrink to thoughts of fear and uncertainty, and the days ahead seem filled with gloom. It need not be like this, and in fact we are only making the situation worse for ourselves by becoming more depressed. Here are a few pointers for facing financial hard times with poise and calmness:

Focus on the here and now

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

- The Buddha

It is very easy to imagine worst case scenarios and let them distract you from the things that need to be done. We may not have control over all the factors that dictate our economic well-being, but at least if we can do the things we have control over, we can look into the future knowing that we have done our best. Taking practical here-and-now steps gives us a sense of empowerment and generates a sense of momentum in our lives, whereas worrying has quite the opposite effect - making us feel more and more helpless!

Learn the art of detachment

Circumstances cannot change man’s life.
His attitude can and does.

- Sri Chinmoy

Too often we let our well being lie in thrall to “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”, as Shakespeare would put it. We are elated when circumstances are good, deflated when things are not so good. And yet our outer circumstances will always be in a state of flux, like the waves in the ocean: rising, falling and rising again. The chances are that in our lifetime we will probably live through quite a few periods of economic growth and recession, just as we go through good and bad in our personal lives. We have to make a choice: whether we wish to remain a small boat in the middle of the ocean, emotionally tossed around with every rise and fall of the waves, or we can be a huge ocean liner, remaining steadfast on course regardless of the ups and downs.

To achieve the latter, we need to have equanimity, and to take everything that happens, both good and bad as an experience that is shaping us into a better person, sometimes in ways we don’t understand right now. Sometimes it is only a few years later when we can look back on ‘bad’ times we faced and see how much it contributed to our inner growth, even though it certainly didn’t feel like that at the time! Being detached means learning to see the forest for the trees, and looking upon each thing that happens to you as a lesson in that great school called life.

If the news is affecting you too much, don’t watch it

Depending on who you listen to in the news, it is very easy to come away with a feeling that the world is heading to hell in a handbasket, as the old-timers used to say. The truth is, that despite all the endless speculation, you do not know what will happen until it actually affects you. When it does begin to affect you you can then take concrete steps to deal with your specific situation. Certainly we have to keep informed about what is going on in the world, but just bear in mind that the media, being human beings, often share the very human trait of seeing the worst in everything.

Be grateful for what you have

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.

- French proverb

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to our mental and emotional well being during times of financial hardship is thinking about what we have to lose. These thoughts can cloud our mind to such an extent that we forget about the blessings and good things in our life, and all we see is the impending trouble that is upon us. When we take some time every morning to be grateful for the things that really matter - our health, our loved ones, for the gift of being human - we begin to claw back some of that mental territory and achieve a balance in our lives, seeing everything that is going on around us in the proper perspective.

Remember: the true wealth is within.

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.

- Jonathan Swift

In panicking and worrying we erode away the only wealth that truly matters - our inner state of happiness. And over the years I have seen many people surrender that inner wealth to outer circumstances, simply because they didn’t value it enough. When you sincerely value your inner state of mind and strive to keep it no matter what, you see that it is in fact the most valuable tool you have in learning to deal with any outer crises, and you learn to keep it as the bedrock of your approach to life.

Photo of Nepalese boy: Ranjit Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

An easier life does not mean we vegetate in front of the TV trying to avoid reality. An easier life, involves simplifying unnecessary complications; it means being at peace with ourself; it means we learn how to get on with people avoiding interpersonal conflicts. If we have the right attitude life will be easier and more enjoyable no matter how active and dynamic we are.

Life is undoubtedly a challenge, but, at the same time there are several things that we can do to make life easier and more enjoyable.

Mind Your Own Business

Unfortunately, humans have a strong propensity for gossip and meddling, but this is generally undesirable. We have many of our own problems and weaknesses, but, we often fall into a trap of thinking that we can better sort out the problems of others. It is even worse when we have no inclination to even help others, but, we just get a certain pleasure from knowing about the misfortunes of others. When we meddle in the affairs of others, we add needless complications to our own life. It is also a mistake to feel that we are responsible and can change others, when we do this we only add unnecessary complications and worries to our life.

This does not entail an indifference to the fortunes of others, especially close friends and families. It means we don’t get needlessly involved in gossip and affairs where we have no right.

Do Things 100%

An easier life does not mean a lazy life of slouching around. If we are lethargic and lacking in enthusiasm life will seem dull, boring and passes slowly. When we throw ourselves 100% into a project we become energised with focus - it helps to give life meaning. When our life has meaning we feel happier and this is the crucial aspect.

The worst thing is half heartedly trying to do several things at once, but not getting any of them done at all. We are left with a feeling of inadequacy and stress.

Make Time For Yourself

We are very adept at creating pressure for ourselves. We try to do many things and put pressure on ourselves to meet certain standards. When we rush from one thing to the next, we feel under constant strain - there seems no let up in the endless stress and strains of life. There are certain things we really do have to do, but, there are also many things that are unnecessary. With a bit of foresight we can make time for ourselves. For example, rather than wasting 15 mins watching the news in the morning, we can spend 10 minutes for breathing exercises / meditation, then leave for work 5 mins earlier. This extra time means we lose alot of the unnecessary stress of being late.

Be Kind

This is the easiest and most effective strategy for an easier life. When we are kind, we will definitely notice people reciprocate. If we are forgiving and tolerant, we will find people will be more tolerant and forgiving of our mistakes. If we have a compassionate attitude and avoid creating conflict with others, it makes life so much easier and more enjoyable. It is such a simple but effective strategy, it is surprising we don’t give it more focus. Even more important than being kind to others is being kind to yourself.

Humility

If you made a mistake how would you respond? Would you worry over what others thought? Would you feel obliged to defend yourself or push the blame onto others? When we have an attitude of humility we don’t worry over our ego. We don’t feel the overwhelming necessity of impressing others and defending ourselves. The stronger our ego, the more we worry and fear, even if this worry is unconscious.

Don’t Try to Live A Different Life.

The easiest way to get through life, is by living our own life and not trying to be something else. Often we waste a lot of mental energy wishing we had different breaks in life. We think - only if we had different opportunities or could be someone else life would be better. When we start life with acceptance of our current situation then that is the first step to an easier life. We should definitely try to improve our life situation, but, we don’t waste time complaining about how we got to our present situation.

Simplify Your Life.

These are 10 strategies to having a simpler life. Simplicity has tremendous power to create focus and remove unnecessary obstacles.

Photo by Unmesh Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

In theory, the morning is a wonderful time. It is a fresh start, the atmosphere is calm, there is chance for a new beginning. But, often this chance is for a fresh start is lost, because we jump straight into our old anxieties and worries. If we wish to cultivate greater peace of mind, the best place to start is first thing in the morning. This is true even if you are not a ‘morning person’ like me!

These are some suggestions for making the most of the morning.

Regular time of Rising.

If we can keep regular hours of sleep / waking it becomes much easier to get up. If we lie in, it throws the body clock out. Even if we had a late night, it is good to try and get up at the usual time. The worst thing is to lie in bed, kind of dosing. We are not getting the benefits of proper sleep, but, we are losing precious time.

The Morning sets the day.

On awakening in the morning, the first few minutes should be seen as a golden opportunity to set the tone for the day. Keep the mind calm, don’t start worrying about the problems of yesterday or what might happen later. Hold positive thoughts about what you would like to achieve in the day. If you have good intentions about what you would like to do, it becomes easier to actually do them.

Newness.

Feel every day is an opportunity to do something new, to become a better person. Don’t think of the monotony of your routine. Even in the most regular routine, you have the opportunity to be of service to others and improve your mind. Cultivate a sense of gratitude for the new opportunity and new day.

Leave  Your  Computer / Mobile Phone.

Modern technology is undoubtedly a boon in some ways, but, there is a danger of becoming a slave to it. At least, for the first hour don’t check your email, or starting texting. Most of the day, we are immersed in the activities of the world; for an hour try to be away from technology and the news. Give yourself a chance to be detached from the endless information of the internet and TV. Give space to yourself. If possible find time to walk in nature, meditate or some other activity than inspires you. Give yourself something to look forward to when waking up. You don’t have to get immersed in work activities as soon as you rise.

Exercise.

If you struggle to get going in the morning; exercise is an excellent way to get the blood circulation going. Exercise can also help to clear the mind.

Sleep Well.

Shane, wrote a good article on how to deal with lack of sleep. There are times when we just have to get by with a lack of sleep, but, it is best to minimise this. If we get good quality sleep, then we will find it easier to get up in the morning. Avoid eating lots of sugar in the evening this can mess up your blood sugar levels in the morning.

Avoid the Long Lie In.

It may be tempting to just lie in during the morning. But, the early part of the day, is often the best part.  Getting up early helps us to be more relaxed because we are not in a rush.

Meditation

Meditation is part of my daily routine, it is the first thing I do in the morning. It gives an opportunity to cultivate peace of mind and be detached from the world. As well as silent meditation, I will sing / chant mantras, a good way of energising your meditation when the body may be still a little sleepy. Meditation for beginners

We’ve all heard about detox programs for the body, which aim to clear away all the toxins which block our system. Well, considering the amount of mental ‘toxins’ we indulge in everyday in the form of negative and destructive thoughts, I thought why not have a mental detox program too? By this, I mean a series of practives you could do for a couple of weeks, or a month, at the end of which your thoughts would be purged of negativity and a new clarity and peace of mind could emerge in your life.

As any army general will tell you, an adversary is best attacked on multiple fronts at once, and so it is with our thoughts. These five steps outlined below - meditation, simplification, inspiration, exercise and positivity - work hand in hand to keep you in a good frame of mind throught the day. I would recommend you start with a timeframe like two weeks and see how you get on, and then maybe the next time try it for a month or even longer.

Step 1: Meditation

Meditation, is quite simply, the art of stilling the mind and going beyond your thoughts to a space of peace and beauty inside yourself. If you are serious about trying to rid the mind of negative thoughts, then I would recommend you make time for a meditation practice at least once a day. It is best if you do it at the same time every day (so as to build up a habit) - for many reasons, the ideal time is early in the morning, directly after you wake up and have a shower and before you eat breakfast.However if you can’t do this, at least pick some time of the day where you can sit down for five or ten minutes undisturbed. We have written quite a few articles on meditation and concentration exercises (see resource list below); try these different techniques and see which one best suits you.

A word of warning: Don’t expect that at the end of 2 weeks all your thoughts will be cleared. When I give meditation classes, one unfortunate thing I see time and time again is people coming in expecting to reach that state, and giving up in disappointment because they can’t control their thoughts after a couple of weeks or a month. The fact is, to have no thoughts at all is a very high state of meditation. Instead in our meditation we try to identify with a deeper, more ‘real’ part of our being, so that we learn not to take our negative thoughts so seriously and be swept away by them.

Step 2: Simplification

One reason why our mind runs amok is because it is overstimulated by the bewildering array of inputs out there - radio, TV, Internet, newspapers to name but a few. When we are more selective about what goes into our mental process in the first place, the easier it is to control it once it is there! Try to look at your daily activities, and separate the truly essential inputs from the superfluous. For example, we watch TV for five hours a day to relax, but the afterward we find our mind dwellining on the fictional situations we have just watched, which have nothing to do with the here and now of our lives. Another thing we often do is take on extra activities and obligations out of a misplaced sense of obligation or because others feel it is something we should do, which only serves to bring extra worry and stress into an already mentally overcrowded life!

Every morning, when you have finished your meditation practice, try to identify areas of your life that are causing excess mental baggage, and work on removing them. Don’t suddenly emiminate all superflous areas of your life at once - this will create a tremendous resistance and strain in your mind - but slowly and surely identify areas of your life that are weighing you down, and work on replacing them with something more fulfilling.

Step 3: Inspiration

If we implement the previous point and cut down on the number of mental distractions, we then have a lot of time on our hands, and as the saying goes, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop - in other words if we don’t fill this space with positivity, our mind just finds more negativity to take its place! Before you embark on your mental detox program, locate at least five or six sources of inspiration in the form of inspiring books, music, programmes (and yes, self-improvement blogs!) and have them at hand whenever you have some free time. In this way, your free time can be not only relaxing, but elevating!

Step 4: Exercise

Often much of our negative thoughts comes from stressful energy which has no outlet for release and which just builds up in the mind. Having a daily half-hour exercise regimen not only makes us feel more alert and revitalized, it also acts as an outlet for the stuck mental energy that can build up during the day. Personally, I always try to go for a run or do some other form of exercise early in the morning after meditation, because I know that life and other things will always get in the way later on! Another way to make sure you have a regular schedule is to do it with a friend - it’s much harder to back out of it when you’re letting someone else down.

Step 5: Positivity

The last part of of our detox plan deals with the obvious question - so what do we do when negative thoughts do crop up? Our initial response can sometimes be to fight with them or repress them, but this actually only gives them added strength. A better response is to see what emotion is causing this negative stream of thought and invoke the opposite quality. If your emotion is fear based, invoke the quality of love, if it is anger, invoke peace, if it is insecurity, invoke detachment. You can invoke them by repeating the name of that quality silently and feeling that quality grow inside your heart. It may be a struggle sometimes when the negative emotion is particularly strong, but persistence definitely pays off.

One final note:

When you begin a juice fast or other kind of body detox, the first thing that happens is that all the toxins get released on their way out of the system, and you feel a little bit under the weather for a while. Similarly, when you begin the mental detox, you may notice that the negative mind puts up a surprising amount of resistance, because it sees you are trying to change it. In addition, the additional awareness you get from meditation may reveal other negative thoughts you had that were lurking below the surface, so it might seem as if there was more negativity than there was before! That’s why it’s important to have inspiration and exercise too, becuse they act as a channel for these ‘toxins’ as they leave your mind. Like the physical detox, this mental detox does require a degree of commitment and a real aspiration for change, but after a couple of weeks, the peace of mind and clarity of vision you get will all have been worth it.

Resources

1. Meditation:

We have written quite a few meditation articles on this blog, among them are:

• A Meditation Exercise For Self-Discovery

• A Simple meditation exercise

• An easy to learn concentration exercise

Another very nice website is meditationworkshop.org (which Tejvan made) containing pretty much everything you need to know to begin a meditation practice

2. Simplification

• 10 Effective ways to simplify your life

3. Inspiration

• The Inestimable Importance of Inspiration
• A quick plug for one of my current sources of inspiration - the Mahabharata, which is India’s equivalent of the Iliad and the source of much of its spiritual wealth. In the 1980’s B.R Chopra directed a 96-episode adaptation of this great epic for TV; I’m progressing through it at the rate of 1/2 to 1 episode a day (Im currently on episode 36). Once you adjust yourself to the crummy special effects, there is a story here containing timeless wisdom  wich is as relevant today as it was 5,000 years ago. You can catch it via streaming here…

4. Exercise

I made a website allaboutrunning.net where I wrote quite a few articles about keeping up an exercise regimen:

• How to set running goals and stick to them
• Keeping up a fitness program

5. Positivity

More articles from our blog:

• Effective ways to get out of a negative mindset
• Real Happiness and the Heart

Recently, we posted on how to deal with angry customers. In this post, we continuing our series on dealing with anger. - This time, how to reduce our own anger

In this post, I would like to consider some more suggestions for resolving problems of anger

Short Term

Anger is a sudden emotion that can flare up and take us by surprise. In this immediate time period it is most powerful. When we feel overpowered by anger it is important to try and delay our response. If we try to remain detached, even for a moment, the force of the anger will start to dissipate. Then it becomes easier to view the issue objectively.

• When anger takes us by surprise, it is helpful to do some deliberate exercises that take our mind away from the anger. If we breathe calmly, slowly and deliberately, this will definitely help reduce the impact of the anger. Even just counting can help. All that happens is that we are forced to think of something else and this on its own reduces the power of our anger.

In the Long Term, if we can’t get rid of underlying anger and resentment, we can try these techniques.

Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,”

- William Shakespeare

In life, people will do stupid, irritating things, if we expect perfection from others, if we expect our life to be free of problems we will always be doomed to disappointment. Life is too short to harbour grudges and anger against people.

What is Gained, What is Lost?

Nursing anger towards others is a guaranteed to make us depressed. But, does it help change the situation? The point is we need to be wise, if we are angry and miserable we gain nothing. If we nurse anger and are unable to get rid of it, it will be ourselves who lose out. If we can detach from anger, if we can move on, then we can regain our inner happiness. Wanting to be peaceful, is the most important step in actually achieving it. If we realise the benefits of dealing with our anger, we will make persistent efforts to get rid of it.

Persistent detachment.

If we make a desire to detach from our anger, we may get frustrated because our first efforts fail. Despite a wish to be free from anger and frustration, we find it keeps coming back. It is like a bad habit we need to get out of. We may not succeed with our first, second or third effort but, if we persistently ignore our anger, eventually we will be successful. Never be dispirited if we feel anger for no good reason. It is a passing emotion that we can choose to ignore.

Empathy

This might appear difficult, but, if we are angry with a person / group of persons we can try to see the problem from their perspective. This doesn’t mean we need to agree with them, but what we are trying to do is to appreciate why they behave like they do. Sometimes the behaviour of others appears incomprehensible. But, maybe if we had the same upbringing, we might have a similar perspective on life. If we can do this we blur the edges between absolute right and wrong. This empathy and sympathy is the first step to appreciating that they be just trying their best. When we try to understand and sympathise with others it will definitely lessen our anger and feeling of separation. Anger is a problem because it gives us a very partial understanding to any problem.

Smile

If you can smile at your enemy / problem, half the power disappears at once.

Maybe these things will not work for all situations. But, if we are honest often we can become angry for relative trivial offences. Perhaps someone said a sharp word, drove badly or was generally inconsiderate. But, it is not the end of the world. Some people feel anger can help, but, I don’t agree. Anger gives us an unbalanced outlook, we become blind to a neutral perspective.

How To Deal With Anger

Photo Unmesh Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

For anything great and good that you want to do in your life, there is one crucial prerequisite - inspiration. A good inspiration brings with it a wave of energy that by itself can propel you over the finish line. Conversely when we are devoid of inspiration, everything can seem difficult, tedious and boring, and we get no joy out of what we are doing.

Inspiration and the mind

Inspiration is so important because it keeps the mind positive and focused on the bigger picture. We often think we are in control of our minds and what we think, but even a brief analysis of our thoughts reveals a different story: that our negative thoughts act as a huge barrier to our self growth.

The mind is very prone to vacillation and doubt, switching from one way to the other at a moment’s notice. Often when you feel a deep inner yearning to accomplish something, the mind will at first go along with it, enticed by the novelty factor. However, when the going gets rough and you begin to encounter obstacles in reaching your goal, the mind will often be the first one to jump ship! By introducing outer sources of inspiration to your life, you help your mind “see the forest for the trees” and work with you to achieve your goals.

Feeling that you are not alone

Sometimes the process of bringing purpose and meaning into your life means you have to boldly step into territory uncharted by most of the people around you. You begin to explore options beyond the nine-to-five cycle of eating, working and sleeping, and begin to move away towards a deeper sense of being. Because many of those around you aren’t as interested as you are in living out your full potential, it is very easy to feel that you are ploughing a lonely furrow, and this can make you wonder if indeed you are doing the right thing in the first place. That’s why keeping in touch with inspiring people and reading inspiring stories is no important, because it lets you see that others have been in same place as you. If they have gone on to achieve their goals, then why can’t you?

Keeping inspired

Because the mind gets bored of new things very quickly, you constantly need to replenish your sourse of inspiration:

• Having like minded people around you can be great in that regard - you can guarantee that if one person in the group isnt feeling particularly inspired, someone else will be, and their inspiration will act as a lift-me-up tonic. Also, together you serve as a valuable source of new ideas - when one person finds out something that works for them, then he or she can easily spread that with everyone else.
• Always keeping a sense of newness in what you do is always essential - for example, to stop my meditation practice from becoming dull and uninspired, I often add a new meditation exercise to my morning routine, or redecorate my meditation space.
• Reading can be a powerful source of inspiration, as it directly affects the mind. Reading personal inspiration stories can be particularly powerful, because you can put yourself in the shoes of that person and imagine yourself overcoming those obstacles.

After inspiration, then what?

You can use the inspiration you have as a launchpad to increase your aspiration - your inner yearning for fulfilment. Many people who give seminars on success in different fields all say the same thing - that the difference between attaining a goal and not attaining it is simply whether you wanted it badly enough. The very act of increasing your aspiration helps to inwardly move you away from the situation you are dissatisfied with, and you feel that inside your heart you are actually beginning to effect the changes that you want to see in your life.

As the old saying goes: “when you really want something, the entire universe conspires to help you achieve it.”

(I am dedicating this article to my main source of inspiration, my meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy, who passed away one year ago on October 11.)

Our blog is a little over a year old. We are grateful to all our readers who have subscribed and left kind and thoughtful comments. We also grateful to those who have ’stumbled’ the odd post. Stumbleupon has definitely helped us to grow the blog.

These are some of our favourite articles in the past 12 months

• Effective ways to get out of a negative mindset - How to shake off a bad mood and enjoy life again
• The power of Gratitude - simple but effective
• Seven Steps to Inner Peace - There is nobody who wouldn’t appreciate more inner peace, these are some tips to make it a reality
• The Meaning of Love - The difference between real love and emotional attachment
• The Power of Simplicity - simplify your life
• How to Avoid becoming a grumpy old Man - I’m trying!
• Video post of Shane and Tejvan - You won’t learn anything about how to make a professional video, but, at least you will see who we are!

Photo: Pavitrata, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

I occasionally give meditation classes in my home city of Dublin. The great thing about giving classes is that they attract amazing people from all different corners of the globe and walks of life. Many of them are there looking for techniques to relieve the increasing amount of stress and anxiety that they face in their lives. Others, though, come looking for something that goes beyond just stress relief; they feel that meditation can somehow give them a deeper sense of themselves, and expand their awareness of who they are. And they are right. It can.

Many of the exercises we teach in our classes stem from one very simple secret I learned from my meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy - to meditate on the heart instead of the mind. Seeing as our overactive mind is the source of many of our worries, meditating in the mind can often lead to tension and stress. On the other hand, the heart is that space in the middle of the chest we point to when we refer to ourselves, so naturally it is a very good place to begin any journey of self-discovery.

This meditation exercise works on two levels - it helps to purify the mind of all the superfluous chatter that gets in the way of our self discovery, and (more importantly) it makes us identify with a much deeper part of our nature that goes beyond the body or the mind. When we are in the heart, we see that it is always aspiring and reaching towards a greater sense of happiness. And according to all the great meditation teachers, that sense of perfection and true happiness lies within us, in the highest part of our being - for example, Zen Buddhism talks about how we are already enlightened, we just need to uncover it, and of course there is the famous utterance of the Christ “the Kingdom of Heaven is within you”. We call this highest part of our being the soul, although many people have their own language to describe it.

Method:

1. It doesn’t matter if you use a cushion or a chair to sit; the important thing is that you keep your back straight. For this exercise, you can keep your eyes closed and your hands turned upwards on your lap.

2. For the first couple of minutes, just slowly scan through your body from to bottom, making sure that everything is relaxed. Make any little adjustment you need to make to ensure your body is relaxed and free of tension. Pay particular attention to your neck and shoulders as this is where a lot of tension builds up.

3. When we are fully relaxed, we will begin the meditation proper. When you breathe in, slowly repeat to yourself “I have no mind, I have no mind. What I have is the heart.” As you say this, try to feel that at this moment the mind does not exist, that the only part of you that is truly real is the heart. As you feel more and more that the heart is the only real part of you there, your attention will be focused there more and more. If the mind interrupts with its thoughts, don’t worry, just bring your attention back to the exercise.

4. After 3 or 4 minutes, we can take a step further, from the heart into the soul. This time repeat to yourself “I don’t have a heart. What I have is the soul.” Feel that deep inside the heart lies the soul, the highest part of your being, which is all beauty and all light. Again, feel that the soul is the only real part of you - this will naturally bring your attention more and more to it.

5. After another few minutes, you can take a further step, saying this time “I am the soul”. This beauty, joy and peace is not just something lying dormant inside you, it is what you truly are. As you say this, you are far beyond the limitations of your mind and body, and you can feel as tremendous feeling of purity and inner freedom enter your being. Try and stay in this beautiful space for as long as you can.

A lot of people who come to meditation classes have very beautiful experiences from doing exercises like this one - the experiences tend to vary from person to person, as the exercise serves to bring our the unique qualities of your soul. If anyone is inspired to try and let us know if they had any nice experiences, we’d be more than happy to hear about it!

Photo: Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

It is unfortunate that the angry customer is all too common. If you work in any service industry, you will undoubtedly come across people who get needlessly angry. It can be quite disconcerting as there can be real power and invective behind their anger. Knowing how to deal with angry people is an invaluable life skill and definitely will help you remain peaceful This advice is equally valid for dealing with angry people in general.

Dealing With Angry People

Don’t respond With Anger

You may feel that their unjustified anger means you have the right to respond in a similar way. Maybe you would be justified, but, it definitely won’t help. Responding with anger makes the situation worse because:

• They will get even more angry and unreasonable.
• More importantly, you will become stressed and unhappy.
• Staying calm is the best way to resolve the situation.

Feel, that they are like irresponsible teenagers, and you need to  respond in a responsible and reasonable manner.

Don’t Feel Guilty

The nature of anger is that the person tries very hard to make you feel guilty. You may just be a humble petrol attendant. But, the customer wants you to feel guilty for the fact petrol prices have risen by 20%. Don’t bother to explain that your duties as a petrol attendant  don’t actually involve speculating billions of $ on oil stocks just so customers will face higher prices. Whatever the complaint - don’t feel guilty. Even if it is a mistake like bringing the wrong order of food, it is just a mistake and not something to be guilty or ashamed about. If you do feel guilty, you will be unhappy and also feel that you need to defend yourself.

An Angry Customer is Probably an Unreasonable Customer

When people get angry they loose a sense of perspective and it becomes difficult to reason with them. It is good to deal with the situation in a way that pacifies them without going into too much detail.

“I am very sorry, for your inconvenience. We will investigate the problem and the technical staff will endeavour to resolve it as soon as possible.”

Acknowledge Their Complaint and Offer Some Solution.

People who get angry don’t want to lose face, so it is important to give them a way out.

• Firstly don’t panic. They may feel it is the most important thing in the world, but, sometimes a moments silence can calm the situation.
• Acknowledge the issue.
• Apologise for their inconvenience. Note: if you think there complaint is unjustified, you can apologise in a very unspecific way. This gives an apology without having to admit that they are right.
• Say you will refer it to the right department. They might not want to hear this, but, they have to realise the person answering the phone in a call centre, doesn’t necessarily program the ISP configuration of their internet service.

Think of them as insignificant ants.

People who get angry because their coffee is   too cold, or have been charged 50p too much for their 5 star hotel, really don’t deserve too much sympathy. They are like spoilt children who go around causing needless mischief. You will reply in a calm and dignified way, but, don’t hold onto the problem. Let it go.

Good things to do when Responding to Anger

1. Be calm, polite and dignified. This is the best way to shame them into behaving reasonably.
2. Apologise for their inconvenience.
3. Smile
4. Thank them for bringing the issue to your attention.
5. Offer steps that could be taken to rectify the situation (even if these don’t mean much) it is good to suggest something.
6. Refer them to someone else. If you feel out of your depth it is a good idea to refer to a supervisor. By the time the supervisor is found, perhaps the edge of their anger has been lost.  This also shows you are taking the issue seriously. If you are the supervisor, try referring it to a manger. If you are a manager say you will need to refer it to the complaints department. If you are the complaints department you can say you need to gain some information from the local branch.
7. Don’t directly say they are wrong. But, don’t give into all their demands.
8. Take down their complaint and make sure it is accurate.

Things not to Do When Responding to Anger

1. Be Sarcastic. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, angry people have lost their sense of humour so will not appreciate it.
2. Get angry yourself
3. Feel responsible for the failings of your company
4. Feel guilty.
5. Worry about it after the event

photo: by Pranlobha, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

• 10 Powerful Ways to deal with Anger

Often we have a rather fixed concept of ourselves and how we would like others to percieve us. Hence, it’s a pretty painful experience when you are suddenly confronted with some unsavoury aspect of your nature, and it’s doubly painful when it’s exposed for all to see. Some of us become resigned to saying ‘that’s just the way I am’ and claiming their weakness almost as a badge of identity, whereas others go to the opposite extreme, mentally flagellating themselves for every misstep they make in life.

Is there a middle path between these two extremes? Can you really overcome your weaknesses? From the changes I have seen in my life, and also from watching the lives of many of my friends who in one form or another have committed themselves to truly living at their fullest potential, I can definitely say yes to that one. And like many other things, it’s a question of how you do it. Here are a few observations:

Thinking about your weakness only gives it strength

When we hate other people, what happens? The thought of them pervades our mental space, and end up unconsciously guiding our emotions and actions. Similarly, forever thinking of how bad your weakesses are give them power over you, and make you feel helpless in the face of them. It is better to always keep an attitude of pragmatism - the bad thing you did in the past cannot be changed now, but you can always work on avoiding a repeat in the future.

Self-acceptance

We often set unrealistic ideas of the person we should be, and a newly-discovered weaknesses often causes us pain because it jarringly conflicts with this idea. The first step in overcoming weakesses is to lose these unrealistic ideas and accept yourself for who you are. By accepting yourself, warts and all, you are not giving up. No, it is in fact a realistic assessment of where you stand now in your life. Once you have learned to accept and love yourself for who you truly are, you can then work on the journey of self-improvement. My meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy, once used the analogy of a potter working with clay: “You have to be a divine potter. If the potter is afraid to touch the clay, he will not be able to offer anything to the world. So the potter touches the clay and shapes it into something beautiful and useful.”

You are not your problems

When we are confronted with a particular weakness, it tends to crowd our mind that we feel that they are the sum total of what we are! This is absolutely not true. If a cloud temporarily covers the sun, it does not mean that the sun does not exist. Your problems are not ‘you’, they are merely temporary limitations and bad habits obstructing your true nature, and as such, can always be unlearned and transformed.

Focus on increasing the opposite quality

It is always a much more rewarding task to increase positive qualities than reduce negative ones. If you lose your temper easily, you can focus on increasing your inner calmness. If you are prone to criticise others, try and increase the number of good things you see in everyone you meet. Working on positive goals turns the situation around from a struggle with ‘the enemy within’ to a process of inner growth and blossoming.

Never give up

The process of human improvement is not like instant coffee, or a miracle pill. There are ups, there are downs, there are times you wonder if you are any better than when you started. Yet bear in mind that anything we did that ever brought us a feeling of joy and satisfaction, only came because we commited to it and saw it through to the end.

Photo: Pranlobha Kalagian, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

Last week, I made a challenge to see what it was like not to criticise other people either inwardly or outwardly. I have to say it was quite difficult! It seemed as if events conspired to make it more difficult than usual or maybe I was just more aware of how often we are prone to criticism.

These are some observations from last week.

Criticism can become like a bad habit. I noticed there were occasions where I instinctively started to criticise others - usually over minor infractions like for example, a house mate not tidying up. You have to work hard to get out of the habit.

The Action vs Person. When you are trying hard not to criticise, one thing you are forced to do is separate the action from the person. Just because somebody is untidy or irritating it doesn’t make them a bad person. It is worth developing the ability to think badly about an action of a person without making it personal.

Not Neutral If we don’t find anything to criticise, we like the person. We are not neutral.

Empathy. When we are trying hard not to criticise other people, it encourages us to develop empathy. Rather than jumping to condemnation, we think it is a mistake we could easily be making ourself. This is actually quite true, because when we criticise others, we often have the fault in ourself. This empathy or feeling of oneness with others feels good.

Criticism is often False anyway. Once I was cycling home, a driver carelessly through some litter out of the window, normally I would start criticising inwardly, but, this time I checked myself.  When I cycled further on, I realised the driver had just thrown a leaf out of the car - so it wasn’t litter at all. This seemed an appropriate lesson. Often when we criticise we are wrong and misinformed anyway.

There is no peace in criticism. One thing no one can deny is that if you spend all your time criticising others you will not have peace of mind. If you stop criticising the world doesn’t stop functioning.

Criticising Yourself. To avoid criticising others, it is important to work on not criticising yourself. I’ve noticed that there is strong link  between criticising others and criticising yourself. When we criticise others, we are living in a judgemental frame of mind. When we are judgemental about others, we tend to be judgemental about ourself. If we can be tolerant / accepting of others, it is easier to be accepting of ourself.

To live without criticism does not mean we ignore right and wrong. It means we don’t spend precious energy in thinking badly of others and ourself.

I definitely feel that the mind is far too prone to criticism and it creates an unhappy state of mind. I’m going to give it another go this week and try to do better!

It is said that to read a book takes one hour. To understand a book takes one week, But, to actually live the book can take several lifetimes.

I frequently, read about the desirability of avoiding criticising others.

To deliberately criticise
Another individual
May cause an indelible stain
On the critic.

- Sri Chinmoy

The fault is in the blamer
Spirit sees nothing to criticize

- Rumi

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”

- Benjamin Franklin

“Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting”

- Emmet Fox

This is something in this that really resonates. And yet, it can be difficult to put into practise. As Sri Chinmoy says:

To resist the urge
To criticise others
Is, indeed, a most difficult task.

- Sri Chinmoy

Why it is good to avoid criticising others.

• When we criticise others, we often have the same fault in our own nature.
• Criticising others very rarely inspires them to change.
• Gossiping about others brings out the worst in ourself. It gives us a negative frame of mind
• Criticising others, gives us a sense of pride and superiority.
• We really value people who aren’t negative, but willing to look over our mistakes and see the good.

Theory is Fine, but, Is it Practical?

Theoretically, it is great, but, what about living the ideal?

I am going to try very hard to avoid criticising other people for a week. Not only will I not criticise people outwardly, but, I won’t allow myself to criticise people inwardly.

I am intrigued to know:

• Is it possible to remain free of criticism both outwardly and inwardly
• What happens when we don’t criticise others - Will we be happier?
• What will others think of us, if we refuse to criticise / gossip about others?
• Can it be done in all situations like work and home environment.

I will let you know how I get on after a week or two. You are welcome to try too.

BTW: Common Sense is always a good thing. For example, If my students don’t do their homework, it won’t change my attitude of giving them a hard time.

Related

• When and How Should we criticise others?

photo by Pranlobha, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

Since time immemorial, great civilizations have discovered and utilised the link between physical fitness and clarity of being. In the ancient civilizations of India, Greece and Rome physical fitness was given the highest importance - our title is in fact derived from the old Latin saying “mens sana in corpore sano“. This connection works on multiple levels and being aware of each aspect can really motivate you to have a fitness regimen as an integral part of your practice of self-improvement.

1. (The obvious one) Stress relief

During the day all the annoyances and troubles of the day slowly build up in our nervous system, turning us into the human equivalent of pressure cooker! But when we do some physical exercise, all that stored up energy suddenly finds a channel through which it can operate. So when you finish, not only do you have that feel-good physical factor, but also an enhanced sense of mental clarity.

2. Shake off lethargy

Often (especially if we have slept too much) we arise with a feeling of lethargy and sluggishness which can impair our effectiveness during the day. That’s why a run first thing in the morning works wonders in shaking off that half-asleep feeling. In fact, next time you get up and are tempted to go back to bed for a little while, try doing some exercise instead - you’ll be surprised how alert you feel at the end, and you will wonder where all that tiredness you had this morning went!

3. A feeling of accomplishment

In my vegetative college years, I would have days that just seemed to slip by without me really being able to put my mark on them, and I would go to bed with a feeling of disappointment and not being able to accomplish something meaningful during the day. However, when I started running early in the morning, things changed - I would meditate as soon as I got up, and then go out for a run and watch the sunrise. This meant that when I sat down for my breakfast, it was not even nine o’clock and already two things were accomplished. And when two things were done, it was then much easier to do a third, and then a fourth…in other words it helped to generate a momentum which persisted throughout the day.

4. Going beyond

We all know that deep inside us there is boundless inner potential waiting to be fulfilled. One way which many people tap into this infinite potential is through sports. Through sports, you gain access to a sense of joy and fulfillment that comes from transcending your own finite capacities. In a way, aiming to better your capacities through sports has a lot of similarities to meditation. As you near the limit of your capacity, you find that it is in fact your mind and its negative thoughts which often stands in the way of you going beyond. And so to really transcend yourself, you also have to go beyond the mind, just like meditation - and when you do you can get some very insightful meditative experiences. I do quite a lot of long distance running, and challenging myself through participating in marathons and other long distance events has given me some profound inner insights in to the deeper part of my nature.

(Photo: I couldn’t resist this one -This is actually my younger brother Colm running with the torch of the World Harmony Run, the world’s largest global relay for peace. This year, Colm was part of an international team which circumnavigated the entire continent of Australia. )