Top 10 Tips
Next week: Reserve, LA; Metairie, LA; Hendersonville, NC
Many new VA & MD dates in December, January and February
We just added another half-dozen workshops for Maryland and Virginia schools and churches in December, January and February.
We still have some open dates for Workshops in the Virginia and Maryland area:
December 3, 5, 17
January 8, 10, 12, 14, 15, 17
Let us know if you have a church or school interested. It is VERY easy to schedule local workshops. Look below for new dates and come on out!
Getting Through to Guys?
You know what we've heard a lot lately? Wives have been telling us, "My husband is a really cynical guy, but after listening to the CD's or coming to the Workshop, they have found what you teach life-changing." This is one of my goals in 2009--to reach more Dads. It's critical that both parents be on board so we'll keep reaching out to guys. By the way, if your hubby is reluctant to attend a live event, let him know he can bring his laptop, sit in the back row and surf the web while I'm talking. We'll get through to him :)
Do you remember where you were when the realization hit--that your child was different, that he or she didn't respond the same way other kids did, that your child related to the world differently?
Some of you remember the doctor giving you a diagnosis or the school calling for a conference, often with a somber tone. You felt your world crumble and began frantically searching for information late at night while everyone else was sleeping. You felt like a failure, like you had somehow caused this. You felt hopeless because everything you heard was negative.
Let's back up for a moment and consider several key principles. Since we have so many new families joining us, I want to address some larger foundational concepts. These are the Top 10 things I'd tell parents who have just had this realization. The first 5 deal with us as parents; the other 5 deal with your kids.
For Parents
(1) You are not alone. Come to our Workshops and you'll find 100 parents in your community struggling with the same issues! Look at this list of qualities-we only know this about kids because so many of them share the same attributes. http://www.celebratecalm.com/16.html. Join or start a local support group-it is very comforting to know you are not alone.
(2) Your child is wired differently, on purpose. Instead of fighting all these differences, we embrace them and actually take advantage of them. We turn negatives into positives. Know how your child is gifted in pushing everyone's buttons? I love that quality. Know why? It means your child gets what makes people tick, so if we can use that gift in a positive way, he can help people. Someone I know well used to use this gift negatively; now he writes encouraging newsletters to you.
(3) It isn't your fault and there's no one to blame. Our kids ARE more challenging, but I have grown to enjoy that because it causes us as parents to grow. Embrace that challenge. You didn't make your child this way. So that means you can't take credit when together we help your child become wildly successful as he matures! Relax and let's control what we can control.
(4) Learn to control your own anxiety and emotions first. Here's a thousand dollar insight for you. Instead of focusing on and trying to control your child's behavior, first address and deal with your own anxiety in every situation. You'll be amazed at how the dynamics of your home and classroom change when you are calm. No matter what your child does or says, our job is to prove that our kids can count on us to control ourselves and remain calm.
(5) Take care of yourself so your kids don't have to take care of you. Sometimes well-meaning parents sacrifice their own mental health and needs. In doing so, we become needy. If you are so frazzled, frustrated and tired that your kids can "drive you crazy" or push your buttons, then they are in control. We end up "needing" our kids to behave, because if they make a bad choice, WE can't deal with it. So please, please take care of yourself. Exercise, get time alone to recharge, do activities that make you feel peaceful and strong. And drop them off at the grandparents house often!
For Kids
(6) Get to know your kids inside and out. Our primary mission and passion is to help parents and teachers understand these kids inside and out. Otherwise, adults will continually misinterpret what our kids do and actually make things worse. IF, however, we know what makes our kids tick, then we can develop strategies that address root needs and create long-term transformation.
(7) Do not treat outward behavior--meet underlying needs. Most programs focus on addressing outward behavior, which is ultimately futile and reactive. Stop, slow down and observe children. Children tell us everything we need to know if we understand what needs they are trying to meet through their outward behavior (need for order, purposeful stimulation, sensory issues, etc.). We must understand our kids' primary needs so that we can address the root of the underlying issues. This is critical.
(8) Pinpont specific symptoms and needs. Before buying into the idea that any one treatment can be a magic pill, we must first identify specific needs. Then we can meet those needs by equipping our kids with tools, changing their environment, setting clear and high expectations, trying alternative teaching styles, using proper nutrition and exercise, changing their neuropathways, etc.
The labels we assign to our kids do not always accurately describe what's going on inside their hearts and brains. We have worked personally with well over a thousand children--no two are the same. Varying degrees of anxiety, sensory needs, obsessive compulsive traits, impulsivity and so many other traits show up at different times and in different situations. That makes it critical to understand WHY your kids are doing what they do. That's our passion and what we love most!
(9) Build on their gifts, talents and passions--in school, at home, at church, through extracurricular activities. Anyone who is happy in life is using their gifts and passions in productive ways. But in our anxiety-driven compulsion to fix all their weaknesses, we forget to build upon our kids' strengths. Want to build confidence and help with social skills? Find ways for your child (and students) to use their skills in the classroom, at a job or internship, in a club or community group. This NEVER fails.
(10) Equip your kids. I cannot shout this loud enough. We need to actively teach our kids how their brains work, so that they can overcome weaknesses and use strengths to their advantage. I never mention the labels when I talk to kids. Instead, I talk to them as adults-this is the way your brain works, so let's try doing homework this way or that way. Then I turn it over to them-they like the ownership and feeling like they have some control over themselves. So let's arm them with information and insight about themselves-it is validating and empowering.
One final note: remember to practice the 3 P's: Patience, perspective and progress. Stay in the moment--do not project your fears out 10 years or by comparing your kids to others. Remember all of your child's positive qualities and accentuate those. Celebrate progress continually (not perfection).
So let's slow down, let go of our parenting anxiety and guilt, and equip our kids with the tools to become successful in the classroom, living room and life. Partner with your child's teachers--they will have a lot of insight into what works with your kids and what doesn't (especially when they have been trained with specific strategies). Yes, there is hope, lots of it. I wholeheartedly believe our kids can be wildly successful when equipped with insight and the right tools.
Special note: if you are receiving this note, it is because you are a special friend, someone who has invested in our program before or an educator. We know there are many people who could benefit from the CD's and we'd like to help provide these at a significant discount for the holidays. So whether you want extra CD's for yourself, your school or to give as a gift to others, we'd like to extend an incredibly special offer to you. We just don't have a way to offer this online, so please email me with this subject line: SPECIAL OFFER. We'll get back to you with a way to purchase additional copies of CD's below our cost.
Please take a moment and forward this to other parents, teachers and friends in these cities. The events are free and open to the public. I promise we'll laugh a lot, but most important, we'll walk away with at least a dozen very practical strategies. So come on out!
Monday, November 17 Reserve, LA
Riverside Academy / 332 Railroad Avenue / Reserve, LA 70084
Teachers Workshop 3:00pm - 4:30pm
Parents Workshop 6:30pm - 8:30pm
Tuesday, November 18 Metairie, LA
St. Philip Neri School / 6600 Kawanee Avenue / Metairie, LA 70003
Teachers Workshop 3:45pm - 5:45pm
Parents Workshop 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Thursday, November 20 Hendersonville, NC
For Social Workers, Foster & Adoptive Parents
"Calm, Teach & Discipline Intense Children" 1:30pm - 3:30pm
Parents & Teachers Workshop 6:00-8:00pm
Monday, December 1 Gaithersburg, MD
Rachel Carson Elem / 100 Tschiffely Square Rd / Gaithersburg, MD 20878
Parent & Teacher Workshop 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Tuesday, December 2 Falls Church, VA
Sponsored by the Fairfax County Parent Resource Center
Luther Jackson Middle / 3020 Gallows Road / Falls Church, VA 22042
Parent & Teacher Workshop 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Thursday, December 4 Ellicott City, MD
Centennial Lane Elem. / 3825 Centennial Lane / Ellicott City, MD 21042
Parent & Teacher Workshop 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Saturday, December 6 Rockville, MD
Barnes & Noble / 12089 Rockville Pike / Rockville, MD 20852
Parenting Workshop 9:00am - 11:00am
Saturday, December 6 Herndon, VA
Herndon Fortnightly Library / 768 Center Street / Herndon, VA 20170-4640
Joint presentation with Ann Dolin, M.Ed.
"School Strategies for Intense Students: Accommodations, Learning Tools & Medication" Parent & Teacher Workshop 1:00pm - 3:00pm
Tuesday, December 9 Jefferson City, MO
St. Joseph Cathedral School / 2303 W. Main St. / Jefferson City, MO 65109
Brain Boosters™ Teachers Workshop 2:30pm - 4:30pm
Parents Workshop 6:30pm - 8:30pm
Sunday, December 14 Alexandria, VA
Montessori School of Alexandria / 6300 Florence Ln / Alexandria, VA 22310
Parents & Teachers Workshop 1:00pm - 3:00pm
Monday, December 15 Silver Spring, MD
Glen Haven Elementary / 10900 Inwood Avenue / Silver Spring, MD 20902
Teachers Workshop 4:00pm - 5:30pm
Parents Workshop 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Tuesday, December 16 Falls Church, VA
Longfellow Middle / 2000 Westmoreland Road / Falls Church, VA 22043
Brain Boosters™ Teachers Workshops afternoon
Parents Workshop 7:00pm - 8:30pm TEEN FOCUS
The following are sample announcements for Educators and Parents Workshops to give you a better idea of our content. You can also view our complete curriculum on the website.
10 Brain-Boosters™ Interventions for Educators
In-Service Professional Development
Are you frustrated by students who fidget, constantly need to be redirected and distract others? Do you have a handful of students who demand all your time? Ever wonder why certain students struggle with anxiety and anger?
Today's educators must deal with situations and issues unimaginable even a few years ago. Studies indicate that up to 70% of students may be affected by one or more of the following: anxiety; distraction and difficulty attending; sensory integration; impulsivity; emotional and behavioral impacts; and bullying.
Celebrate!Calm Director of Education, Kirk Martin, will be addressing these issues during our Professional Development on the afternoon of Tuesday, November 11, 2008. Martin has trained over 45,000 parents and teachers and specializes in working with intense children, including those affected by Anxiety, Sensory issues, Aspergers, Autism, ODD, OCD and AD/HD .
The organization's Brain-Boosters™ Workshops combine forty years of scientific research with cutting-edge insight into the human brain to provide practical, 21st century tools for educators:
· 15 practical interventions to improve attention and retention.
· Behavior plans that build confidence and work long-term instead of reinforcing negative behavior.
· The correct way to calm an angry, frustrated or violent child.
· How to turn distracting, impulsive students into classroom leaders.
· Transfer ownership of academic and behavioral success to students.
Educators will receive documentation for Continuing Education Credits for attending. Martin will also be addressing parents in the evening to help prepare their children for success in school.
Workshop for Parents
10 Keys to A Stress-Free Home & School
Do you want your child/student to take responsibility for his homework, morning routine and chores? Need help channeling defiance and disrespect into internal motivation? Do you need help calming your explosive household?
Join us for a humorous, practical workshop with best-selling author and nationally-recognized expert Kirk Martin, who has trained over 45,000 parents and teachers.
Martin will provide practical strategies to:
· Create a Stress-Free home-eliminate yelling, arguing and whining.
· Improve focus, attention and behavior in class.
· Create stress-free discipline and homework time.
· Channel disrespect and defiance into positive experiences...
· Develop vision, motivation and responsibility in teens.
· Relieve anxiety and sensory integration issues.
Medication, nutrition and sibling issues will also be discussed. A Q&A session will follow the Workshop. The Workshop is FREE to the community.
